It has been about 8 months since I decided that I was going to build Mindful Magick (Musings and Shoppe) as a space online for sharing my experience with mental health management, paganism, tarot, astrology, and how these four things have come together to make my life so much better.
There are plenty of little notes and thought-blurbs in my notebook that will grow into actual blog posts, but I’m continuing to hold that off until I have a better grasp on the most important part of Mindful Magick–working directly with those who come to me for readings and interpretations. I do, however, post fairly regularly to Instagram and Facebook, if you’d like to keep up with me on there.
Last night I created a page on this blog dedicated to my brief interpretations of tarot card combinations. Check them out here.
It currently takes about a month for me to complete a satisfactory astrology report, complete with cheesy and carefully curated stock photos, a hand-drawn chart, intuitive insights/perspectives, and questions for self-reflection on the part of the querent. This is because I believe that people know themselves best, and my readings simply allow them to tap into their own intuition and inner knowing. I’ve done maybe 5 or 6 Official Astrology Reports for people so far this year, as well as many face-to-face overviews of friends’ charts for the past couple years. Needless to say, my skills are improving and my intuition is strengthening every time and it’s all very exciting. I’ll be sure to get some reviews/testimonies as soon as I can.
I also believe that tarot readers and astrologers should receive readings from other intuitives, because as self-reflective as we might be, we certainly may miss crucial elements of our own psyche. And how can we help others navigate their subconscious if we can’t do that for ourselves? It’s also refreshing to get dragged through the mud by someone else, especially if that’s what you’ve been doing for your own querents/clients. Don’t worry, it’s done lovingly, and never without consent.
Over the past year or so, I have been battling with some intense fear. It seems that, once I clawed myself out of the pits of depression (or cleared the fog, whatever metaphor), I found myself consumed with an existential dread. I had spent such a long period of time wishing that I was dead that, once I realized how good it was to be alive and how much there was to live for, I was terrified of losing that opportunity.
This isn’t to say that my fears were completely “irrational.” The 2016 Presidential Election would probably send anyone who is paying attention into despair and fear of imminent societal collapse. As I got over this fear (mostly thanks to the passage of time, isolation, the fact that I am a white US citizen, and the belief that no matter how fucked up our “leaders” are, I have enough faith in the people of the world and myself to stand up for justice), I found myself entrenched by a new fear. It was much more personal and close-to-home, but still a little bit far-fetched. But it had just enough truth in it that my amygdala was like, “Hey, you should be afraid of this.” Eventually, as I got over this fear, another one crept in. This time, it was characterized by suspicion, hypervigilance, and general mistrust of the motives of my friends.
So, in general: Scorpio problems.
As you can guess, I’ve spent a lot of time learning how to overcome these fears and trust my intuition more. Just like when I started to manage the depression (which, I must add, couldn’t have been done without finding the right diagnosis and medication for me at the time), I went back to hypnosis and guided meditation among other techniques and methods of facing my mental blockages head on. Since my brain’s primary feature is executive dysfunction, it’s typically quite difficult for me to actually… do things. So I like when I can put on some headphones before falling asleep, with the intention of letting my subconscious do what it can to dissect these fears.
(Also, this just in: you don’t need to understand the basis of your fear in order to categorize it as a fear. The whole point of magick, especially chaos magick, is the ability to choose which beliefs belong to you and which beliefs control your actions).
This executive dysfunction also makes it difficult for me to incorporate anything remotely similar to ceremonial ritual into my life unless I am 100% “divinely inspired” to do so. I have multiple little notebooks now. Honestly, it took me a long time to get to this point, especially because I wanted to go completely “digital,” but I digress. One journal is for writing down my random thoughts, inspiration, and a-ha moments. Another is for writing down the things I am grateful for, and occasionally the synchronicities (usually in the form of numbers) that particularly stand out to me. The other one is for visualization and manifestation. I write my future into existence by using the present-tense. I write my goals. I dream big, and then I dream bigger. I don’t need a whole lot for myself, but as a Taurus Rising and Scorpio Sun, I understand the power of money.
I want money to flow through me, so that I can take care of my basic needs and then some, and then so I can support others. See, I have my opinions about how others should spend their money and I certainly do not believe that the wealth gap should exist. People should not be starving to death or unable to afford their fucking insulin while others shit into gold-plated toilets. Because of this, I have been forced to confront my own relationship with money. “Who am I to earn money for myself by doing what I love when others don’t have the same luxury?” That sort of thing.
But I have come to understand that I am more than deserving of making a life for myself, because I don’t do it simply for myself. I do it so that I can support my mother, so that I can give back to my brother for helping a single mom send her child to college, so that I can lift up my friends and treat them to nice birthday gifts and food and travel, so that I can help marginalized communities and the global community. This sounds extremely “liberal” of me, and maybe it is, but at least I’m doing what I can so that I can take care of myself and direct more money into the hands of people who actually give a shit about making the world a better place.
And if you believe in my mission and purpose and want to support me and my vision, here is my Patreon. I don’t have many features on there at this point in time, but the rewards do include some tarot readings written for you by yours truly (me). When school starts and I pick my radio show back up, I’ll start having many more ideas regarding the kind of content I’ll create for you. But of course, there are many individuals and organizations who could also use the money. It’s entirely up to you, but even $1 would go a long way.
If you’ve gotten this far in this blog post, I commend you. It means so much to me that you would even be on my page in the first place. I hope that the things I write about are at least somewhat relevant, and I hope I convey my thoughts and ideas in a relatively straight-forward way. Run-on sentences are my greatest vice.
Sooner than later, I’ll actually make some real blog posts about the topics that I really want to discuss. I’ll probably just write a bunch of them over the course of a day or a week (thanks, ADHD) and schedule them to be posted every week or every other week. Stay tuned.
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